"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days, all the days of my life". When I begin to account the goodness that has followed me all of my days, I have to include two very special people.
Don and Mary Neal have blessed my life and those of my family for as long as I can remember.
The memories begin when I was 4 and we began attending First Bible Church. Mary was always smiling, even when she sings, she smiles. Don was this big, handsome man with such presence, but he never knew it, you know, impressive without trying AND he was Angie's daddy. A benefit of having Angie as my friend and growing up in church with she and John was that I also got to spend time with Don and Mary. They just make you feel better.
Time in there home, fellowship at church were all times of sharing and caring that will always stay with me. They have been my leaders, teachers, pray partners, co-laborers, parent stand-ins and precious friends forever. It is hard to narrow the memories down to just a few words.
Don brought me home from the hospital after the birth of my son Brennan. My Dad would have done the honors, but had a long standing commitment out of town (Babies don't always come when you would like) so, Don said "What time do you need me?". I remember how sweetly he took baby Brennan from the car and up the walk with Jim trailing behind with all the bags and flowers and such. After he had placed Brennan carefully in the house, he returned for me, escorting me up the sidewalk with my arm in his like I was a queen. Remember now, I had just had my third baby and wasn't feeling very "queenly". Don made me feel special when it really helped to feel special. He just does that.
Now Mary, how can I tell you all the times Mary was just what I needed. It was November of last year, Sunday morning church and life as I had known it was over. On Friday evening my grandson Asher had died from a "true knot" in his cord at the onset of labor. Samantha delivered him on Saturday morning and on Sunday morning, there I was, in my pew. Mary came to where I was and without any words, sat with me and held my hand during the service, just what I needed her to do. You see, there were no words that could comfort me at that time, but her presence in the pew beside me washed comfort over me ten-fold. It is what she allows the Lord to accomplish through her that makes Mary .........Mary. It is what sets both she and Don apart from others. They have truly been a precious part of all the "goodness" that has followed me.
Don and Mary are making a move to Tennessee. When John and Angie were in school in Nashville years ago and Don and Mary made so many quick trips there to support their kids in their current musical or drama event, my daddy would say "They need to move down there". He would be pleased they finally are. I am excited for them, the willingness to make a change like this at their age is a good indication of their "zest" for life and Angie will have Mom and Dad close after so long. Wonderful.
I will miss them. I am thankful for phones, e-mail, snail mail and Facebook. Maybe they won't feel 5 hours away. I will still need their touch of "goodness" to follow me. God bless them and continue to use them. Nashville has no idea how blessed it is about to be.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"Anti-Social" Media
I caved under pressure. My children insisted for months that I start an account on facebook. Reluctantly, but with a little excitement, I did.
You see, I have family living in other States that are on facebook and I truly was anxious to keep in better touch with them and I have, but I have also found that some of the things I thought less attractive about facebook and "social media" in general to be real.
You shouldn't say (or post) everything that pops into your brain, especially when you are angry with your husband, annoyed with your child or someone just cut you off in traffic. People post "rants" about issues that follow their agenda without thought to the "friends" feelings on the other end. Folks are also losing their sense of privacy, it went when cell phones became popular and people began having personal phone conversations in the middle of the grocery store!
It is fine to "keep up" with current technology, but forgetting manners and being thoughtless of others just to say what WE think benefits no one. Our expression on facebook should be as purposeful and polite as if the person was standing before us, but wait, maybe the problem is that we have forgotten how to carry on a conversation where one person speaks and the other responds,where we are truly interested in the other persons thoughts and concerns or what THEY are trying to communicate.
I don't have an answer, but as a Christian woman I know that we have a responsibility to conduct ourselves in an appropriate fashion. I want to always uplift and encourage my "friends", both believers and non-believers. As always, it's a choice. Are we being salt and light?
As for my facebook experience, it has it's place. I love hearing from my kids, nieces, nephews, sisters and friends living away. The daily "little things" they share are priceless. I'm delighted when I hear the latest words of wisdom from a toddler or someone shares a funny video. Prayer requests are one of my favorite posts because I might not have known without FB. Just remember as we are to keep our tongues under control we should also "bridle" our keyboards, both can be deadly.
You see, I have family living in other States that are on facebook and I truly was anxious to keep in better touch with them and I have, but I have also found that some of the things I thought less attractive about facebook and "social media" in general to be real.
You shouldn't say (or post) everything that pops into your brain, especially when you are angry with your husband, annoyed with your child or someone just cut you off in traffic. People post "rants" about issues that follow their agenda without thought to the "friends" feelings on the other end. Folks are also losing their sense of privacy, it went when cell phones became popular and people began having personal phone conversations in the middle of the grocery store!
It is fine to "keep up" with current technology, but forgetting manners and being thoughtless of others just to say what WE think benefits no one. Our expression on facebook should be as purposeful and polite as if the person was standing before us, but wait, maybe the problem is that we have forgotten how to carry on a conversation where one person speaks and the other responds,where we are truly interested in the other persons thoughts and concerns or what THEY are trying to communicate.
I don't have an answer, but as a Christian woman I know that we have a responsibility to conduct ourselves in an appropriate fashion. I want to always uplift and encourage my "friends", both believers and non-believers. As always, it's a choice. Are we being salt and light?
As for my facebook experience, it has it's place. I love hearing from my kids, nieces, nephews, sisters and friends living away. The daily "little things" they share are priceless. I'm delighted when I hear the latest words of wisdom from a toddler or someone shares a funny video. Prayer requests are one of my favorite posts because I might not have known without FB. Just remember as we are to keep our tongues under control we should also "bridle" our keyboards, both can be deadly.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Dusty Coffee Mugs
Coffee flows freely at my house and for years I have kept coffee mugs at the ready, hanging on a rack. When folks help themselves to coffee and choose their mug I always say "give it a rinse in case it hasn't been used lately". Some are used daily of coarse, but others may wait a while. I wouldn't want my friends and family to have "dust tinged" coffee, so thus the warning.
We have a variety of cups to choose from, a "Someone in Texas loves you" cup from my sister, a 'Girls Gone Wise " cup from a True Woman conference Samantha and I went to, my nephew's 40 cup I passed on to him that he uses when he is here, one from work, the one Don and Em brought back from England that says London all over it and a few with cows. All different, some simple, some colorful, all hold coffee.
What's the point? Well the other day the Lord spoke to me through those mugs. How often am I, are we, dusty coffee mugs? Unlike the mugs, we have a choice whether to be used are hang there and wait. The Lord needs each of us for His glory, but sometimes we aren't willing. We become "dusty".
Every couple of weeks I pull all the cups down and give them a wash. I guess that's like revival time, church camp, conferences we attend, or any special moment when we lay everything out for the Lord and he forgives and prepares us for the task He has planned for us. We're ready, but life "scoops us up" and there we are again, hanging, dusty.
Now we all have to work on our willingness to do those things the Lord has for us to do, individually. What excuse we make, how we just don't have the time, the talent or what ever it is we think keeps us hanging there. The dust really rallies when we neglect our time in God's Word and the quiet time with Him He so richly deserves and We so desperately need.
So now I have a little reminder to be willing and at the ready to serve the purpose my Lord and Savior has for me today. I never miss my morning coffee, a little cream, no dust please.
We have a variety of cups to choose from, a "Someone in Texas loves you" cup from my sister, a 'Girls Gone Wise " cup from a True Woman conference Samantha and I went to, my nephew's 40 cup I passed on to him that he uses when he is here, one from work, the one Don and Em brought back from England that says London all over it and a few with cows. All different, some simple, some colorful, all hold coffee.
What's the point? Well the other day the Lord spoke to me through those mugs. How often am I, are we, dusty coffee mugs? Unlike the mugs, we have a choice whether to be used are hang there and wait. The Lord needs each of us for His glory, but sometimes we aren't willing. We become "dusty".
Every couple of weeks I pull all the cups down and give them a wash. I guess that's like revival time, church camp, conferences we attend, or any special moment when we lay everything out for the Lord and he forgives and prepares us for the task He has planned for us. We're ready, but life "scoops us up" and there we are again, hanging, dusty.
Now we all have to work on our willingness to do those things the Lord has for us to do, individually. What excuse we make, how we just don't have the time, the talent or what ever it is we think keeps us hanging there. The dust really rallies when we neglect our time in God's Word and the quiet time with Him He so richly deserves and We so desperately need.
So now I have a little reminder to be willing and at the ready to serve the purpose my Lord and Savior has for me today. I never miss my morning coffee, a little cream, no dust please.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
MISERY
I happened upon a casual friend a couple days ago at Wal Mart. I ask how her kids were that had just started their freshman and sophomore years of college. With a strained look on her face she replied "they're good, but I'm miserable". I wished I could some how set her at ease. She has great kids, but not being with them everyday was making her crazy.
That conversation made me wonder why I haven't struggled with "Mom misery" like her. I know she can't possibly love her kids more than I love mine, what's the difference between her angst and my peaceful acceptance?
I cried all the way home from taking my oldest to Huntington College back in 1999. That was more about remembering the joy of raising him and being his Mama than pain of leaving him. His life was waiting for him there, not at home with his Daddy and I.
My second left us in baby steps. We battled, oh how we battled, I wanted him to behave like a grown up, while he said "you just don't want to let me grow up!". I will just let time set that straight, he has a beautiful, smart, three year old daughter. It will all look different to him in about 15 years.
My youngest married at age 19. Yes, that's young, but he has truly found his love. He has much to learn, but he can not be told, he must live the lessons. That's his way.
He, like his brothers will find his life. My boys will make the decisions that shape their lives as I made mine. There Dad and I are confidant that we equipped them to handle what life holds. Foremost, we gave them Jesus, they each have their own walk with Him, a knowledge of God that is with them always to help them in ways their Dad and I cannot. We gave them humor too, it can get you through many a trying situation. Is all of this scary? Oh yes, it's terrifying, but when each of them were babies Jim and I walked the isle of our church and stood before our church family and gave them to the Lord. I have never taken them back.
Will they choose what I would choose? Have they always done what I THINK the Lord would have them do? No, but that is ok. I pray for them each time they cross my mind and in the middle of the night when sleep won't come I lay them once again at the feet of my Saviour. Maybe I haven't struggled with "Mom misery" because I laid all of that there too.
A Capsule Sermon I read says it well "The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on".
Marla Ritchie, Always Jeremiah,
Nolan and Brennan's Mom
That conversation made me wonder why I haven't struggled with "Mom misery" like her. I know she can't possibly love her kids more than I love mine, what's the difference between her angst and my peaceful acceptance?
I cried all the way home from taking my oldest to Huntington College back in 1999. That was more about remembering the joy of raising him and being his Mama than pain of leaving him. His life was waiting for him there, not at home with his Daddy and I.
My second left us in baby steps. We battled, oh how we battled, I wanted him to behave like a grown up, while he said "you just don't want to let me grow up!". I will just let time set that straight, he has a beautiful, smart, three year old daughter. It will all look different to him in about 15 years.
My youngest married at age 19. Yes, that's young, but he has truly found his love. He has much to learn, but he can not be told, he must live the lessons. That's his way.
He, like his brothers will find his life. My boys will make the decisions that shape their lives as I made mine. There Dad and I are confidant that we equipped them to handle what life holds. Foremost, we gave them Jesus, they each have their own walk with Him, a knowledge of God that is with them always to help them in ways their Dad and I cannot. We gave them humor too, it can get you through many a trying situation. Is all of this scary? Oh yes, it's terrifying, but when each of them were babies Jim and I walked the isle of our church and stood before our church family and gave them to the Lord. I have never taken them back.
Will they choose what I would choose? Have they always done what I THINK the Lord would have them do? No, but that is ok. I pray for them each time they cross my mind and in the middle of the night when sleep won't come I lay them once again at the feet of my Saviour. Maybe I haven't struggled with "Mom misery" because I laid all of that there too.
A Capsule Sermon I read says it well "The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on".
Marla Ritchie, Always Jeremiah,
Nolan and Brennan's Mom
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
53 Candles
I still can't quite get my head around the fact that in all probability I have more years behind me than in front of me. If I live as long as my Mom I have 7 years left, if as long as my Dad, 27, if I split the difference 17, OR as we all know, I could die tonight.
I think I still feel like a kid because I spend so much time with seniors. They are all twenty or thirty years older than me and I love being with them. They have lived diverse lives and their memories add richness to my own when I listen and learn from them. Like most of them, I have sometimes learned the hard way, but I HAVE learned. Have you listened to a senior lately?....oh wait, you are doing that right now! See, I forgot again!
My poor husband is learning what it's like living with a woman in the throws of menopause. Pray for him. I have to stop in the middle of every day and thank him for loving me through this. The poor man doesn't know from one minute to the next what to do. Do I need a hug? should he duck and run? when will this be over?! All questions I can't answer because I'm having trouble thinking! The brain just won't engage sometimes. Just ask my youngest son. He gets a huge enjoyment from laughing at me when I stop for 20 or 30 seconds in the middle of a sentence and then proceed like that's perfectly normal. That IS normal for me! That's why they call it menoPAUSE! Right?
Well anyway, its happened, my number has changed again and it always goes up not down, so Happy Birthday to ME! Thank you Father God for my life, my husband, and that I'm still learning.
I think I still feel like a kid because I spend so much time with seniors. They are all twenty or thirty years older than me and I love being with them. They have lived diverse lives and their memories add richness to my own when I listen and learn from them. Like most of them, I have sometimes learned the hard way, but I HAVE learned. Have you listened to a senior lately?....oh wait, you are doing that right now! See, I forgot again!
My poor husband is learning what it's like living with a woman in the throws of menopause. Pray for him. I have to stop in the middle of every day and thank him for loving me through this. The poor man doesn't know from one minute to the next what to do. Do I need a hug? should he duck and run? when will this be over?! All questions I can't answer because I'm having trouble thinking! The brain just won't engage sometimes. Just ask my youngest son. He gets a huge enjoyment from laughing at me when I stop for 20 or 30 seconds in the middle of a sentence and then proceed like that's perfectly normal. That IS normal for me! That's why they call it menoPAUSE! Right?
Well anyway, its happened, my number has changed again and it always goes up not down, so Happy Birthday to ME! Thank you Father God for my life, my husband, and that I'm still learning.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Why A Blog?
My husband is the writer in the family, but for some reason I have had a lot to talk and think about lately. Even if no one ever sees this, I know that I will benefit. Surely there are 50 somethings with grown children that are wondering the same things I am wondering about in this stage of my life.
Strangely enough this all started with the sight of my cat lying in the sun on the window sill on her birthday. The sight of her gave me pause to think back over the last 8 years that we have had her, or to her way of thinking, she has had us.(more about her at a later date)
Our family has gone through quite a transformation in the last few years, God has been so good, but I have to say that for James and I, it has been interesting. Off spring have a way of doing that, it's not a bad thing, just challenging. Unbelievable joy, pride, fear beyond anything they understand yet, wondering how I made MY parents feel as I chose the things that have shaped my life. Did I thank them enough?
This blog will unveil the rants and the quite ponderings of a woman still in love, still adoring her children(even though they did turn into men) and anxious to see what life will hold beyond my empty nest.
Strangely enough this all started with the sight of my cat lying in the sun on the window sill on her birthday. The sight of her gave me pause to think back over the last 8 years that we have had her, or to her way of thinking, she has had us.(more about her at a later date)
Our family has gone through quite a transformation in the last few years, God has been so good, but I have to say that for James and I, it has been interesting. Off spring have a way of doing that, it's not a bad thing, just challenging. Unbelievable joy, pride, fear beyond anything they understand yet, wondering how I made MY parents feel as I chose the things that have shaped my life. Did I thank them enough?
This blog will unveil the rants and the quite ponderings of a woman still in love, still adoring her children(even though they did turn into men) and anxious to see what life will hold beyond my empty nest.
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